生活 | 会話ゲーム

I’ve been a gamer since 1984, but getting GOLD everything in Mario Kart 8 was the pinnacle of my gaming journey.

My life was perfect as a young kid. Everyone felt sorry for me being a bastard so it was like having many dads. My grandfather, I called him Granddad, was the best though. He was a fighter pilot in Vietnam and after retiring from the Air Force he opened his own general aviation airport in Spearfish, South Dakota. He was my first best friend. He would take me everywhere with him. He taught me how to fly when I was just two years old. I have so many fond memories of him teaching me about avionics, flying the pipeline, and proper radio etiquette.

My stupid-ass mom and step-dad forced me to move to shithole Seattle with them in 1984. I remember kicking and screaming and being forced into the truck for the two-day journey west on I-90. I still hate her for it. (I joined the US Army when I was 17 just to get away from her.) My dog and Granddad died when we were there. I fucking hate Seattle. All it does is rain. I would slit my wrists before I ever went back there again. If it got wiped out by a nuclear bomb I’d be so happy.

I remember my step-dad asking me how old I was on the way. I told him, then asked him how old he was. Nineteen was his answer. I remember thinking that was a really big number compared to my four. I also remember going to his uncle’s house on the way and getting bullied for the first time by his kids. It wasn’t that bad. They just said that the sucker they were eating was my soon-to-be-born baby sister. I knew they were joking, but I kind of wished it was true. If it weren’t for her, we’d still be in South Dakota with Granddad and my dog. They didn’t let me play, but I remember they had an Atari 2600. It may look lame today, but it was like a magical box then. They must’ve gotten a newer console because we brought that one with us. I remember playing Pong and some crappy racing game. They were really fun, but when the Nintendo Entertainment System came out, everyone had or wanted one. It was so amazing. I remember playing Super Mario Bros. and Duck Hunt for years. I didn’t clear Mario until 1989, but by then everyone was like, “Who cares?”

I’ve had every Nintendo system over the years, even the Virtual Boy. Nintendo never had the most powerful system (except for the Nintendo 64), that thing was on another level, but they always seemed to make the best games. Mario Kart is by far the best game franchise to have ever been made in my opinion. I’ve been playing it since the Super Nintendo days.

When I was a teacher in Bangkok I had it made. I owned my condo free and clear, had zero transportation costs because I rode a BMX everywhere, and seemed to have money and pussy falling from the sky. I was a single dad but didn’t start work until 5 pm, so I would bring my son with me to work every day after he got out of school. My teenage students would take him shopping and to restaurants while I was teaching. I also had a Nintendo Wii U and a Playstation 4. I earned the nickname “GTA Teacher” from my students because we had so much fun killing cops as Michael, Trevor, or Franklin. I would invite fellow teachers over to my crib after work and we’d BBQ, smoke weed, and drink lots of beer. We’d play a bit of the new PS4 games, but everyone always wanted to play Mario Kart 8 together. My two buddies, Danie, Jim, and I played it online so much that we memorized every track and were probably in the top thousandth players in the world at the time. We had a technique that would help us defeat the A.I. too. We would play two players against the A.I. and had a rule, whoever won first place on the first track was king. The second player would serve as a bodyguard and this was enough to overwhelm the A.I. even though it loved to cheat with the “Blue Shell of Death” on almost every track. If the bodyguard had it, they would only fire it if the king fell back from first place.

Living in Bangkok was wild. We would go to strip clubs and see hundreds of beautiful naked women on stage, go dancing all night long, or just enjoy the best food and vacations, but to this day we all still smile whenever anyone mentions Mario Kart 8. It took a few months of grinding through all the tracks to get perfect runs, but we eventually earned the golden wheels, then the golden hang glider, and eventually golden everything. It really was a superior vehicle. My son recently got the game on his Nintendo Switch and I had one question for him, “Have you earned the golden kart yet?”

Image Resources:

http://cognizantgamer.com/?p=143

http://www.soicowboy-bangkok.com/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atari_2600

https://www.usgamer.net/articles/18-12-2017-mario-kart-8-deluxe-how-to-unlock-gold-mario-and-stop-blue-shells

Can Vaseline get your dog’s ticks out?

I’ve really bonded with Spot here. He’s very intelligent which makes him hard to handle. My neighbor said they tried to adopt him, but he wouldn’t listen to them. Since he’s half husky he has way too much fur for this hot climate. He’ll be the happiest dog in town for about two months in the winter, but his summers won’t be fun. Maybe I’ll take him somewhere cold like Colorado. It’s a beautiful thing when a husky sees snow for the first time. It’s like the wolf takes over and they go wild running and jumping around. It never snows in Laos, so he sadly may never know the feeling.

The way we adopt and raise dogs in the west is all wrong. We should see which dogs we naturally bond with, not just buy ones we think are cute. If they follow you then they follow you. If they don’t, it wasn’t meant to be. I think leashes are disgusting. How would you feel if someone dragged you around everywhere in chains like a slave? Would you really love them or would it just be a love born from fear? Spot trusts me and follows me everywhere, even across this scary bridge. I’ve had to teach him to never go in the street and he is super afraid of heights, but he’s a brave dog. Except for being aggressive and pooping and peeing inside, I just let my dogs do whatever they want. If they want to smell weird stuff all day or run into the bushes, they can have at it. Just be prepared for those annoying sticky plants and ticks if they do.

Here’s our first selfie together. I don’t think he’s ever seen himself before. He was quite fascinated by his image on the phone. I’ll have to show him a big mirror and capture his reaction. I don’t know how many months old he is. He is half Lao dog so I don’t know if he gets way bigger or stays small. Either way, he will grow up to be a beautiful boy.

He just wouldn’t stay still long enough for me to use the tweezers to get the ticks in his armpits out. Maybe he’s ticklish. I remember a doctor telling me when I was a kid that you can use petroleum jelly to get ticks out. Even though their head is in the skin sucking on blood they still need to breathe and the jelly will cut off their oxygen supply and they will pull their heads out gasping for air.

I usually avoid cheap brands, but this one costs one-third the price. 7,000 kip is less than a dollar.

I didn’t time it, but the ticks pulled their bloody heads out themselves after about a minute. I didn’t get a chance to take a shot of any of the nasty creatures because Spot ate them including a bit of jelly. Fair enough. They were eating him, now he ate all of them and got some of his blood back.

Go back to sleep baby. Thank you for reading. Vaseline or petroleum jelly does indeed help remove ticks. You just need to use it liberally.

Rainy Wednesday Walk around Luang Prabang and Massage

I grew up in Seattle and was in the army so the rain ain’t no thing for me. Especially in a tropical environment. When I was in North Carolina for my job training, I remember it raining, then freezing, and having icicles on my hat, so I now feel this warm rain is refreshing and relaxing.

I find it quite amusing when it starts to rain and everyone runs away for cover like ants. What are they afraid of? If your clothes get wet, just wash them. You get completely wet when you take a shower so why is it so horrible when you have your clothes on?

I also don’t have a problem swimming in this dirty brown Mekong River. The only time I won’t go in is if I have any open wounds. (I don’t want to waste money on antibiotics to kill the cellulitis and not be able to drink for a week.) Everyone always warns it’s dangerous and that I’ll die. From what? Is there a giant anaconda down there? Crocodiles? Maybe the story of the fire-breathing river monster is true. Most people think I’m weird, but I find their always living in fear and slaving away for fiat weird.

This statue of Buddha appreciated the rain. It helped clean it and look good for this picture. I like the story of the Buddha’s enlightenment. One day while he was praying or meditating it started to rain very heavily and a giant king cobra came around him and expanded its hood flared neck to protect him from the rain.

I’m sure that the monks can see me from their rooms but it feels really cool to come to an ancient temple and be all alone.

One of my favorite temples in Luang Prabang is hidden on a hill on this corner. It’s not something you can see from the street, so I was living here almost two years before I found this gem.

If you leave the city and go into the jungle, you’ll see people using these old American bombs to build their houses. The CIA led a secret war here that saw more bombs dropped than all of WWII. They were made of high-quality metal so are still a threat. Cluster bombs still kill and injure 300 people a year. As an American, I feel very sad that my government did this to these wonderful people and never took responsibility for the damage and death it’s still causing today.

On an opposite note, peace. Can you spot the PEACE ☮️ bricks in the center of this picture? All buildings in Laos display their construction year. I’ve noticed almost every building from the 1970s used these peace bricks.

Even when I ask my friends, who’ve spent years as monks, what all these paintings mean, they always don’t know. There’s a meaning and history in each scene. Good luck finding out what they are though.

I do know about the giants though. Almost every temple will have them somewhere to protect it from evil.

Which is your favorite Buddha image?

I treated myself to a long-overdue massage. It felt so good because I’ve been wanting one for over a year. It only costs $6 for an hour oil massage that was one of the best I’ve ever had. I had hurt my back a bit doing wild slides at the water park so the oil massage was just what I needed to end this lovely rainy day.

Thanks for enjoying this rainy Wednesday walk around Luang Prabang with me today. Have a good one!

Amend: The Fight for America

The Union may have won the military victory during the Civil War, but racist southerners won the cultural war. Even after a hundred years since the 14th Amendment became law, many Americans had to fight for their right to be seen as equal by their states and the federal government. Amend: The Fight for America shares the stories of the many Americans who stood for and even died for equality.

Netflix

Fredrick Douglass

At first, I was thrown off by the actor who was quoting Fredrick Douglass because he looks nothing like him but, then there was Pedro Pascal as Abraham Lincoln and other Hollywood stars quoting people of different ages, sex, and race. Samuel L. Jackson portrayed Martin Luther King Jr. well, but at no point did he say, “I’m sick of these motherfucking racists on this motherfucking continent!”

Fredrick Douglass is remembered as the greatest speaker of the 19th century. He could give a speech to a huge crowd and change their hearts and opinions with his amazing words. He will always be remembered as an early champion for civil rights, but I don’t think most people realize what a bad-ass he was. One day, while his master, who was also most likely his father, was giving young Douglass a beating. He decided then and there that he wasn’t going to take it anymore! While Maryland and his master viewed him as property, he was in fact a free man! He then beat the shit out of his master and told him that if the other slaves found out about it that he would lose face, so they’d both never speak of it again. He ran away and published his book which would only put a huge target on his back for southern slave catchers. He even tried to get a commission as an officer in the Union Army which the president was in favor of, but the army would not allow.

Heavy Weight Champion

How would you feel if you won the belt for the UFC heavyweight, but Dana White told you that you are in fact the champion, but your prize money and belt would actually go to the loser? Well, that’s what happened after the Civil War. The 14th Amendment had passed and slavery was outlawed but terrorist groups like the KKK, racist politicians, and a corrupt Supreme Court made it a worthless gesture. It wasn’t until Martin Luther King Jr. and his brilliant strategy of non-violent disobedience helped to end Jim Crow. If I had a time machine, I’d really love to take Will Smith, the main narrator of the series, and Martin Luther King Jr. back in time to meet Frederick Douglass and Abraham Lincoln. They would have a lot to talk about and it would make for the most epic podcast of all time.

Equality for All

This Netflix original series doesn’t just focus on the struggle of black Americans, but all Americans who had to fight for their rights. It begins with the Civil War and leads all the way up to the present day. There are some people, that sadly, I’d never heard of until watching this documentary six-part series. It doesn’t matter what religion, sex, race, or orientation you are because the United States Constitution gives you unalienable rights even if you are NOT a citizen. It’s important that we know our rights and the heroes who gave everything to make our rights a reality. History and Civics teachers will be assigning Amend: The Fight for America to their students as required viewing for many years to come.

3 OFFLINE games you should download

Sometimes I really miss the PSP where you had a good grip, controls, and all games could be played offline. Back then I was the only one entertained with a portable screen because smartphones had not become a thing yet. People would accuse me of being antisocial, a nerd, or a zombie. Now everyone is hunched over staring into screens. Most phones become pretty boring and useless if they lack an internet connection, but if you have these three games, you’ll have something fun to do offline.

Solitaire is a classic game that should come with every phone as it did in Windows 3.1 in my opinion. Back then, most people had never used a mouse so this game served as basic training for the new input device. Now there is a generation of people who’ve only known iPads and smartphones. I can see the anxiety in their eyes when asked to use a mouse or keyboard for the first time. How many people can type without looking these days? How many skills that we were once proud of have zero use today? I remember being proud of my ability to send text messages on my Nokia without looking while riding my bike or being able to fix TV antennas for better signals. What’s your now worthless skill?

Badland is the only mobile game I can think of that can be played with 4 players on the same screen. The only input necessary is tapping the corner to flap. If you hold your finger down your birds will flap a lot. It’s free on the Google Play Store and 99 cents in Apple’s App Store, but totally worth it. It won Game of the Year, but sadly most people have forgotten about this gem.

Missile Command: Recharged

A re-imagining of the beloved classic with fast-paced, arcade action where players must defend their bases by blasting an endless barrage of missiles hailing from the sky. Launch counter-missiles to protect your base and target powerups to gain an edge at critical moments. Missile Command: Recharged will appeal to those that fondly remember playing the original or its many iterations, and a whole new generation of mobile gamers that are looking for fast-paced, pick-up-and play, arcade goodness.

I like to play this while waiting at the bank for some reason. They don’t like me very much because every time I’m there helping a friend out with their money transfer problems I always say that none of this would be necessary if they had just used Bitcoin and that the whole banking system is about to join the dinosaurs. One of my students is a bank manager and has worked there for thirty years, but had no idea what fractional reserve banking was. People always ask me about this game so they can download and play it too whenever they see how fun and addictive it can be. How many millions of quarters do you think this game earned back in the day?

What about you?

I will update this monthly as new ways to earn are learned from your comments. Which post to earn site or app is the best in your opinion? Which did I miss?

Way Back Home LYRICS LESSON

Learning with music is fun because we remember the real language used in our favorite songs.

Listen to 2018’s Way Back Home by Shaun featuring Justin Bieber one time WITHOUT reading any lyrics, then see what you can repeat…

What words, sentences, or expressions got stuck in your head that you can repeat? Listen and read the lyrics this time…

(Lyrics)

Remember when I told you
No matter where I go
I’ll never leave your side
You will never be alone
Even when we go through changes
Even when we’re old
Remember that I told you
I’ll find my way back home

I could never let you go
Couldn’t run away if I tried
‘Cause even when I’m all alone
You still got a hold on my mind
And I’ll always let you know
That I’m always gonna hold on

And I told you right from the start
You just say the word and I’ll go
No, it doesn’t matter how far
‘Cause your love is all that I know
Baby you just stay where you are
And you know I won’t be too long
Hold on
Hold on

조용히 잠든 방을 열어 기억을 꺼내 들어
부서진 시간 위에서 선명히 너는 떠올라
길 잃은 마음속에 널 가둔 채 살아
그만 그만

멈춘 시간 속 잠든 너를 찾아가
아무리 막아도 결국 너의 곁인 걸
길고 긴 여행을 끝내 이젠 돌아가
너라는 집으로 지금 다시 way back home

세상을 뒤집어 찾으려 해
오직 너로 완결된 이야기를
No, I won’t ever lose
As long as you’re there
빛이 다 꺼진 여기 나를 안아줘

눈을 감으면 소리 없이 밀려와
이 마음 그 위로 넌 또 한 겹 쌓여가
Even when we go through changes
Even when we’re old
Remember that I told you
I’ll find my way back home

Apply to real life.

Take parts of the song and use it your own way. For example:

Even when students are lazy, I still love them.
Remember when we went outside without phones?
I’ll always be a gamer.
I’ll never do that again!

No you try. Make your own sentences or expressions.

More Songs

Watch the Conversation Gaming Lyrics YouTube Playlist: