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If you only knew the joy of the DOG life

So many people tell me they want a dog, but their situation won’t allow it. If you don’t have a yard or a nice outdoor place then maybe it’s better not to put a dog into your human jail, but if you can and want a dog then I highly recommend it. They bring so much joy, companionship, security, and health benefits to your life. I love my lovely wife and children, but there is a special place in my heart for my dog, Rapper. It takes forever to see your human children grow up, but dogs get big so fast. Rapper went from a scared little puppy to an alpha male with many puppies from several different bitches in only one year.

If you already had or have a dog then I’m not writing this for you because you already know how great these little creatures are and how much happiness they can bring into your life. I’m writing this to convince those of you who are thinking of or have never thought of K9 parenthood.

I don’t like cats at all, but they seem to like me for some reason. This alpha scrapper of a cat was named Trump because he was orange. I’m guessing his original owner was a Democrat. Well whoever she was, she abandoned Trump here in Laos when she went back home so he just stuck around the only house he ever knew. It took a long time for Trump and me to bond with his bad and aggressive attitude and my dislike for his species, but it got to the point where he would go on walks with me and scratch at my door to be let in. I totally forgot that there was a person named Trump so I was confused a few times as to why the news was talking about my cat.

Trump was not happy at all when we adopted Rapper. I had to keep my eye on him because I was really afraid he was going to murder my new puppy, but I learned something interesting from his hatred: All dogs are scared of hissing cats swiping their claws so I tried it on big dogs who were aggressive towards my baby Rapper. I even got a pitbull to tuck tail and run when I cat hissed and pretended to scratch at it.

Sometimes animals are shocked or confused the first time they see their reflections, but Rapper didn’t seem to care at all.

Even though I give Rapper a bath every few days, never get the warm water or shampoo in his eyes or nose, and blow dry him, he still acts as if it’s the greatest injustice in the world. If I ask him, “Do you wanna take a bath?”, he’ll run away.

Even though I love Rapper with all of my heart, trained him, taught him two languages, feed him, and spend a lot of time with him, he still loves Mom more than me. Maybe it’s because she only gave him a bath a few times. I don’t blame him. I would choose her over me too if I were him.

I promise you that owning a dog will improve your physical and mental health. Recent studies have found that owning a dog has been linked to improved cardiovascular health, increased levels of physical activity, and lower stress levels. I would never in a million years go on three walks a day if it weren’t for my little buddy.

This is one of the first pictures I took of Rapper. I imagine he was missing his real mom and wondering why these humans kidnapped him. I brought him back to see her at six months and one year old and he remembered both his real mom and dad and they him, but he still choose to walk back home with me.

Puppy photography can be a real challenge because they never stay still and if you try to get close for a good shot, they get all excited and try to lick you. You should take as many pictures as you can while they are small because they will get big and not so cute super fast.

Have you ever seen a puppy watching puppies on YouTube under the pale moonlight? After doing a YouTube search for: “TV for dogs”, I was surprised that he actually was interested in watching it. Most of the videos are like eight hours long so if you do have to leave your dog alone at least they have something to look at while you’re gone. They’ll still most likely destroy at least one thing though.

Rapper is your typical deadbeat dad. He’s all lovey-dovey with the girls until they get pregnant then he’ll completely ignore them. He must know that these are his kids because of their scent, but he always seems freaked out and afraid anytime he sees his own offspring. I’m pretty sure that memories or at least familiar scents are passed down from the parent dogs to their puppies because Rapper has gotten about 7 bitches pregnant and has dozens of kids and they all seem to remember me and run up to me even the first time we meet. Has anyone else noticed this too?

I’ve found it is a lot easier to get dogs used to cats than cats used to dogs. Cats just hate dogs deep in their soul. If cats were bigger than dogs they’d surely kill them all. This is one reason why I love dogs more than cats. Imagine if your dog woke up tomorrow ten times their size. They would still love you the same. Now, what would you get if your cat was super big? You’d have a tiger or a lion and we know that is not an animal you could trust.

Take your dog to the beach or let them see snow for the first time and it’s like their inner wolf is released like a kid going to Disneyland.

Thanks for reading about my dog Rapper who can’t rap. If you are a dog lover like me please share some stories, pictures, or parenting tips. If you are thinking of adopting one of these wonderful creatures I hope that my words here may have convinced you to do it. I promise you will be a different person after you do.

Ode to Spot: Can a DOG be an Angel?

I’ve always been a dog person so much so that I sometimes dream of being a wolf running through the woods. I seem to have a connection with them better than any people. I wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for my big German Shepard Husky mix named Jake who protected my family from a crackhead back in the 90s, but I owe my soul to the handsome Spot here who was also half Husky.

I was sitting downstairs eating a pizza when he ran up to me when I saw him for the first time and he asked for a piece. At first, I thought he was blind in one eye, but it was just a case of heterochromia with his right eye looking like his Husky dad and his left like his mom.

Maybe some people truly don’t know their left from their right like Private Pile in Full Metal Jacket (1987), but I read it as a sign of fake empathy or selfishness whenever people get it confused when describing others. Let’s say Spot really was blind in his left brown eye and someone said that his right eye was blind. Yes, it’s his right eye from YOUR point of view or in the picture, but it’s HIS left eye. They do not imagine being him, just describing an appearance from their point of view, but they don’t actually care to imagine themselves as the person or creature they’re describing. They’re just another fake ass virtue signaler. Maybe you’ve never noticed this about people before, but I promise you that you’ll catch someone doing it soon.

There are thousands of reasons why I don’t like most people, but pooping or peeing in my house are the only things that will make me dislike a dog. It’s super easy to teach both cats and dogs to do their business outside in the woods away from your property and it amazes me that some people actually have to clean up after their animals. You have to ask yourself at that point, who is training who?

The only reason I had Spot wait outside our favorite chicken KFC-wannabe restaurant here is because some little kids were scared of him even though he was the gentlest dog I’ve ever met. I gave him a big piece of chicken so he was cool after that, but I could tell he thought it was a true injustice that I got to eat chicken in the cool air conditioning eating chicken while he had to wait outside.

Maybe some people think I’m crazy or the devil, but I never wore a mask one time during all of 2020, 2021, to now. I never had symptoms, don’t like people, and stay away from everyone, and I never got sick so why the hell did I need to where that face diaper bullshit? I would say passive-aggressive shit like, “I don’t care if I die, so do you think I care if you do?” or “I was an American soldier. How many American soldiers have died of Covid? Zero, only fat Navy dudes, now get the fuck out of my face.” Or I would pull the best trick and pretend not to speak English and ignore anyone asking me to put a mask on which didn’t happen often. Most of the time they were just so shocked that I’d let my dog go shopping with me that they’d not even say anything. I love being a white guy who speaks the local language fluently because no one thinks you know what they say about you and most people think I’m crazy because I talk to my dogs so fuck them anyways.

What’s up with dogs loving to get all dirty? They know it just means they’re going to have to take another bath when they get home.

The only cruel thing I ever did to Spot was throwing him in the Namkhan River here in Luang Prabang. Some dogs have zero fear of the water and will jump right in themselves, but most are like Spot and dislike it. They can all swim though. I’ve heard babies can all swim too, but it seems a bit dangerous to test out. Besides, teaching your kids to swim is a fun memory of you giving them confidence that they will surely pass down to their kids. I used a puppy to convince my son and his friends not to fear the deep end once when I threw it in the pool. Once they saw the tiny little guy could swim and didn’t die they knew that they could too. I don’t know about cats. What happens if you through a kitten in the water? I bet they would be OK too, but I don’t know much about cats.

Spot was so pissed off that I threw him in that he wouldn’t even look at me all day.

It was also the moment when he stopped following me everywhere and became the leader. He kept a good distance from me out of fear and anger, but after this, he led the way on all of our walks.

No one ever said that I couldn’t bring Spot with me to their restaurant. I would have never returned if they did. I think Spot’s friendliness, good looks, and always being clean helped though. Why is dog shampoo more expensive than human shampoo? It even smells better. If I ever run out of it I’ll use the dog’s. If people would ever use my bathroom they’d always notice I had dog shampoo but not the people stuff and would be surprised I used the dog’s. I still fail to see how it’s weird. We’re both mammals with hair right? What could go wrong?

I never taught Spot how to knock on the door, but he knew it was always cool with the air conditioner on full blast all day so he’d go out all night and sleep in my room all day knocking whenever he wanted in. Being half Husky and full of fur he hated going outside in the sun. In this picture, it’s as if he’s asking me why we have to go outside now. It’s too hot for this.

Sit down, shake, and speak are all nice tricks to teach your dog, but “GET ON THE SIDEWALK!” is the first and only command I take seriously. Dogs appreciate that you have their safety in mind and aren’t just bossing them around. I once had a cop here in Laos tell me that my pitbull needed to be on a leash. I told him that I’d never seen any other dogs on a leash here and there was nothing to worry about because she only bites cops. He didn’t know what to say to that. It’s strange that I live in a communist country but feel free to do whatever I want like talk shit to the pigs. I wouldn’t try it in Thailand or America, but I ironically have much more freedom here amongst the commies.

I like going on midnight walks. Some people think it’s a dangerous thing to do, but not when you have a pack of dogs to protect you. When I lived in Bangkok I had over twenty dogs go on walks with me and no one dared to fuck with me. Here in Laos, it’s a much safer place than in Thailand. I’ve only felt like I was in trouble one time when this scary-looking old dude tried talking to me when two young guys snuck up behind me. When I called for these two dogs and the other five showed up they just smiled and walked away.

Spot had all his shots, but he got really sick one day. He had a crazy amount of mucus coming out of his eyes and nose and had difficulting breathing. I took him to the vet every day, but she couldn’t do anything for him. I think he’s one of the unlucky dogs who got Covid from humans, but there’s no way to know. Waking up to him dead and having to bury him was one of the saddest days of my life. Maybe Covid was made by Dr. Fauci. Maybe it was made in a lab in Wuhan. Like JFK’s murder, I don’t think we’ll ever know, but one thing that can’t be labeled as a conspiracy theory is that the ~~CCP~~ knew they had Covid and failed to tell the rest of the world for six weeks. I hope they all burn in hell.

Before Spot got sick he led me to this random supermarket called JC. Since it’s my initials I thought maybe it was a sign. I saw an old friend waiting for his wife to get off work so I drank soju with him out front when I met this wonderful girl who would turn out to be the love of my life. She’s smart, kind, half my age, and truly a good person. Why she loves me? I don’t know, but if it weren’t for Spot I would have never met her.

Spot came to me during the darkest time in my life. My dickhead uncle and his cunt banker wife tricked my ex-wife and me out of the custody of our son back in 2018 and I’ve been depressed, angry, and drunk every day since. I truly believe if Spot had not come along I’d be dead now.

When Spot died my neighbor felt sorry for me and gave me Rapper here. He’s turned out to be a great dog too. Spot never got to make any babies, but Rapper here is a total pimp. He’s gotten so many bitches pregnant that I’ve lost count of how many granddogs I have now. I’m absolutely convinced that puppies inherit their parents’ memories or favorite scents because all 30 of Rapper’s puppies that I’ve seen always run to me whenever I first see them. Have you noticed this too?

It’s been a year now since I lost Spot. I’ll always miss him, but can only now write about him without being overcome with emotion. Since I’m putting this down on the Hive blockchain it’s very likely that my grandchildren and great-grandchildren will be able to read this post and If they do I want them to know that whatever social or technological changes come their way that nothing beats having a good dog by your side.

Spot’s first walk around Luang Prabang

I didn’t plan on falling in love with Spot, but he’s my best friend now. He follows me around everywhere. He’ll scratch at my door to let him in every night and gets really jealous if I give affection or food to his sister or any of the other dogs at my apartment.

The first couple of days we went on a walk it was just Spot and I. Now it seems all of the dogs in the neighborhood follow us around. There’s an ATM across the street where I live. There was this old man with the scariest-looking eyes I’ve ever seen and two of his young punk-looking friends who seemed like they were about to jump me when I got some cash out at 1 am. When I did my best dog bark, all of the dogs in the neighborhood came running to me and surrounded me. At first, they looked at me like a dumb white boy they were about to rip off, but when all my dog friends showed up, they just smiled and went away.

Spot found this bug. At first, I thought it was a child’s toy. Then I thought it was like a royal cockroach or something. I think it’s some type of wood beetle. I don’t know, but it looks cool. Do you know what it is?

Spot followed me around town for about 10 km. He was very good about staying on the sidewalk and not running into the street, but I did have to carry him across a few intersections.

Spot likes temples. He’ll lead the way in, look around a bit, then leave. Maybe he was a Buddhist in his last life.

I gave him plenty of water along the way, but at one point he just wouldn’t have it anymore. He laid down near a bank to cool down in the shade and close to the cool air-conditioned air blowing out the door.

I remember when I was a kid it seemed like everybody had these old World War II Army jeeps. This one is US Army, USMC, and Laos. Is this even a US Army version? It looks a little off to me. I think it’s a Russian or Chinese version but painted like an American one. They still look cool today. Imagine how cool they looked back in World War II.

This is Mano Temple about halfway to the center of downtown Luang Prabang.

One of the things I’ve loved about living here is that for all of 2020 and until now, nothing was shut down. They didn’t bother with restrictions except for closing down the borders, but recently everyone’s gone paranoid. All the restaurants and dance clubs are shut down because an American and Korean have died of the virus.

I love the bamboo barricades they’ve all put up here to protect their neighborhoods. It reminds me of when I was a 10-year-old boy with a fort in the woods and a sign that said, “No girls allowed!”

I was a hotel manager before the virus came. Now I’m just a Hive blogger and the guy who hangs out with the dogs all day. It’s sad to see these nice hotels being neglected like this. A lot of my friends who worked at the hotel with me are now delivery drivers. I can’t wait for this stupid virus to end and the world to come back to normal.

The first bath we took together Spot was acting like it was the greatest injustice in the universe. Whenever you give a dog a bath you have to be very careful never to get the shampoo or water in their eyes or nose or they’ll have a very bad experience and won’t ever want to take a bath again. Now he will stand up on the toilet and let me shampoo him without moving. I just have to say the same thing several times. “Don’t move!”

Why do dogs love getting up on the bed? I don’t like him doing this because he is a tick magnet. Can you see the guilty look on his face? I feel sorry for Spot because it’s so hot outside, so I’ll let him stay in the room to enjoy the cool air while I’ll walk to the shop to get a beer. He knows it’s wrong, but he’ll always sneak up there when he can.

Can Vaseline get your dog’s ticks out?

I’ve really bonded with Spot here. He’s very intelligent which makes him hard to handle. My neighbor said they tried to adopt him, but he wouldn’t listen to them. Since he’s half husky he has way too much fur for this hot climate. He’ll be the happiest dog in town for about two months in the winter, but his summers won’t be fun. Maybe I’ll take him somewhere cold like Colorado. It’s a beautiful thing when a husky sees snow for the first time. It’s like the wolf takes over and they go wild running and jumping around. It never snows in Laos, so he sadly may never know the feeling.

The way we adopt and raise dogs in the west is all wrong. We should see which dogs we naturally bond with, not just buy ones we think are cute. If they follow you then they follow you. If they don’t, it wasn’t meant to be. I think leashes are disgusting. How would you feel if someone dragged you around everywhere in chains like a slave? Would you really love them or would it just be a love born from fear? Spot trusts me and follows me everywhere, even across this scary bridge. I’ve had to teach him to never go in the street and he is super afraid of heights, but he’s a brave dog. Except for being aggressive and pooping and peeing inside, I just let my dogs do whatever they want. If they want to smell weird stuff all day or run into the bushes, they can have at it. Just be prepared for those annoying sticky plants and ticks if they do.

Here’s our first selfie together. I don’t think he’s ever seen himself before. He was quite fascinated by his image on the phone. I’ll have to show him a big mirror and capture his reaction. I don’t know how many months old he is. He is half Lao dog so I don’t know if he gets way bigger or stays small. Either way, he will grow up to be a beautiful boy.

He just wouldn’t stay still long enough for me to use the tweezers to get the ticks in his armpits out. Maybe he’s ticklish. I remember a doctor telling me when I was a kid that you can use petroleum jelly to get ticks out. Even though their head is in the skin sucking on blood they still need to breathe and the jelly will cut off their oxygen supply and they will pull their heads out gasping for air.

I usually avoid cheap brands, but this one costs one-third the price. 7,000 kip is less than a dollar.

I didn’t time it, but the ticks pulled their bloody heads out themselves after about a minute. I didn’t get a chance to take a shot of any of the nasty creatures because Spot ate them including a bit of jelly. Fair enough. They were eating him, now he ate all of them and got some of his blood back.

Go back to sleep baby. Thank you for reading. Vaseline or petroleum jelly does indeed help remove ticks. You just need to use it liberally.